Yesterday was International Women's Day. According to the official website, www.internationalwomensday.com, the day "celebrates the social, economic, cultural, and political achievement of women." So how did I, a working mother in her thirties, celebrate International Women's Day? I prayed for God to lead me to be a more biblically submissive wife.
Wait..... rewind....what?! That's right. I finished up a phenomenal book, 'My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife' by Sara Horn over my lunch hour, and prayed that God would help me to be a more submissive wife. On International Women's Day.
Before you judge me, read on. This year, instead of making New Year's Resolutions, I set goals for myself. All of them are in the quest to help me grow, get healthy, and really discover God's desire for my life. The first thing I'm doing is reading the Bible through in a year - twice. I laid out a chronological plan for myself on January 1st, and then a good friend invited me to join a Bible Study she was hosting that ironically enough took us on a separate reading plan to get through the Bible in a year. So of course I said yes. In addition to the Bible reading, I set a goal to read 20 books for fun this year. I love to read and in the past few years, I've let other distractions like mindless television and games on my cellphone take precedence. This year, that changes. There are other goals -but these are the two that are important to this post, so we'll stick to those.
In my Bible reading, I'm discovering that men and women were NOT created equal. God created each for a purpose, and I firmly believe we're made to balance each other. Let me be clear - I am not using the Bible as a basis to say women shouldn't earn the same as their male counterpart in the workforce. In fact, I firmly believe that pay should be based on job performance, qualifications, etc. and not on gender. But it is clear that we are not meant to be everything to everyone and that men and women have different roles to fulfill, and that will not look the same in my relationship that it does in yours. It simply means that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and we're built to be the best that we can be when we work together.
Ephesians 5:22 - 33 reads,
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands out to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
This is where most people become outraged. But I ask that you pause a moment and reflect on what the Bible is really saying. It is NOT saying to do whatever the head of the household says, regardless of the repercussions. It is NOT saying that wives are to blindly follow a heathen. Rather, the Bible is saying to honor, respect, and love your husband the way that you honor, respect, and love God. And to husbands - love your wives as Christ loves all humankind. So that means you respect, honor, and love her.
Submission is not this dirty word that our society has turned it into. Eight years ago, when I married Josh, I had the word submit removed from our vows. I was caught up in this worldly view that submission is a terrible and weak notion. I regret that because I'm learning just how strong and powerful submission can be. Submission is the act of
lovingly putting others before your selfish desires. It is allowing someone else to lead while you support. In the same breath, it's also the act of speaking up when you are called to. It is not a silent act. It is one of encouragement, partnership, and love. It is freedom in it's ultimate sense.
I am a very strong-willed person. I am outspoken and I hold fast to 'my way' of viewing things. I'm insistent that others hear how I feel and almost pushy in insisting they change their views to mine. And I feel terrible about that. Now I see that where I have been this force to be reckoned with, I've actually weakened the power of the others around me. I've not given them a chance to lead or teach me. I've done a disservice to myself and to those around me. And for that, I'm truly sorry. I find myself questioning the times I've made decisions for my family without the consensus of my husband. About all of the times I've thought that 'I'll just fill him in later' or 'if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to participate'. What if, in those moments, I was taking away a true moment for his intelligence and his will for our family to shine? What if his way was really more in line with His way?
So, on the day after International Women's Day, I'm here, in my own head. Praying that God uses me to spread His message. Praying that God will allow me to be a biblically submissive wife. One that supports her husbands, trusts in his ability to lead the family, and encourages the family unit as a whole to seek God's will and desires in all we do. After all, it is my first duty as a woman to love God, love family, love my neighbors, and love myself.